DAZZLER DOES IT AGAIN, NEW ALBUM FULL OF SLAPPERS
Posted on June 24, 2023
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
JUNE 23RD 2023, CALGARY, ON
Now you have really gone and fucked up, haven't you? You doubted that Dazzler would return, didn't you? Every night while Dazzler toiled in the lab, with a pen and a pad, you sat in your luxury accomodations and laughed with your luxury friends, you laughed at Dazzler! You sipped from your glass of rare wine and you ate unreleased 3D versions of chips that the rest of us don't have access to, and you thought "It's alright, It's okay, I'm safe".
Well knock knock, open up the door, it's real! Dazzler has risen from the tomb like the mighty Frankenstein to bring you THIRTEEN JAW DROPPING FACE MELTING TASTY MORSELS OF ROCK AND ROLL and another Adventure Dave. The whole gang is back baby, and they've aged tremendously. Your odyssey of sensual disappointments begins with an exploration of WHAT IT MEANS to die IN OR BECAUSE OF the OLYMPICS, takes a left turn at POLITICAL COMMENTARY and does a fucking wheelie around THE IDEA OF DANCING WHEN YOU ARE DEAD (I THINK). Adventure Dave is back too, if you remember what his whole thing was, something about an android?
I know what you're thinking, "But Dazzler, there are enough albums available on Spotify or whatever to last me a lifetime" and that's true, depending on how long you are going to live, but do any of those albums have songs about GOING OUTSIDE or WHATEVER BROWN SUGAR IS ABOUT? I didn't think so, you stupid moron.
Dazzler's new album fig.1 will be available SOON for FREE on DIGITAL PLATFORMS, and for PURCHASE outside the 7/11 NEAR KEITH'S HOUSE. Please send Keith a direct message on the Jeremy Renner app to set up a meeting time.
From all of your friends at Dazzler, have a good one. I love you.
-Dazzler Management (416) 967 - 1111